I knew it would never leave,
The memories that keep me up at night.
They leave the bottles by my bedside,
And sleep is the only place I can reside.
I feel the brush of your cheeks, they numb the roar of the streets.
I taste the ash off your lips, it comforts the pulse in my fingertips.
The beating is almost deafening, and I just want silence.
I just need self peace.
The pills in my system, they never provided ease.
The alcohol in my veins, it never helped me sleep.
The air pushed on the clouds, while my eyes bore floods.
The earth never threw you up, it only swallowed you more,
And I was left to do this on my own.
Your family never spoke, your father stared at his drink,
Your brother packed the bowls, your sister wept in her sleep,
And your mother held the rope and looked to the trees.
Life never started again, it only grew more cold.
You painted the walls red, with the brush limp in your hands.
And I will never forget how many nights I felt sick.
Cigarettes by the bed, ambien in my hand,
It was never enough for you and I to retouch.
The air never breathes, and my eyes leaked sand.
The earth take what it wants, and it leaves us with a sense to die,
And I am finally coming home.
Your family grew mute, your father sick from the drink,
Your brother lives by the gram,
Your sister covered up the veins that bled,
Your mother went to visit you when the leaves shed.
I've kept my fingers crossed, and I've been waiting for this.
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